How to Raise a Toxic Child

Today I ran across a list that had been sitting on my desk for a while, waiting to be shared. So with due credit to Mr. Bill Oliver, founder of the nationally known parenting series "Parent to Parent," I share this list.


The Top Ten Ways to Raise a Toxic Child into a Toxic Adult in the Toxic Society in Which We Live:


10) Be their BANKER. Just keep on giving them money without strings whenever they want it.
After all, "I want my kids to have all the things I never had. Their lifestyle should be much better than mine was without all of the work.


9) Be their INSURANCE COMPANY. Take care of all their mistakes and accidents for them. And
make sure to do all in your power to blame everything on "the other guy." After all, it's never my child's fault.


8) Be their AGENT. Don't ever let them know that they can't do EVERYTHING amazingly well! You wouldn't want to damage their fragile ego, you know.


7) Be their MECHANIC. If they break it, just fix it for them. After all, I'm sure they didn't mean
to.


6) Be their ADMINISTRATIVE ASSISTANT. Take care of their homework for them. Take their messages and deal with those messages so they won't have to.

5) Be their BUTLER. This teaches them that being lazy is okay because, after all, somebody else
will pick up after them and take total care of them. Plus, they're going to grow needing to learn how to manage their household staff.


4) Be their APOLOGIST. Make excuses for them - blame others. Let them know you're on their side in every argument.

3) Be their EMOTIONAL DOORMAT. You're an adult and can take it when they treat you like
scum off the bottom of their shoes. Take the blame and make sure they can speak to you in any manner they wish, even with no respect. After all, all their troubles are your fault anyway - you brought them into the world and owe them everything.


2) Be their FAIRY GODPARENT. Wave your wand and make it all happen. After all, their being
happy is your main reason for living.

1) FAIL TO TEACH THEM YOUR FAMILY BELIEF SYSTEM. Don't worry about the fact that the
only difference between Hitler and Mother Teresa is what they believed. And remember that in today's world there is no difference between "tolerance" and "everything is okay."


Raising a toxic child is easy. Just ignore their bad habits and ways. Clearly, turning that toxic child into a toxic adult is clearly just as easy. May God grant that the parents with better sense begin to take back the moral and work ethic training, and to rid our culture and our children of the toxic nature.

Kirk

Dancing With The Stars & Other Revitalizing Moments With God

I have to laugh. I have a new friend whom I already feel is a very good friend. His mind is sharp. His spirit is gracious and open to God's. His knowledge is deeper than simple "book learning;" moving from "head knowledge" to "spiritual wisdom," he has already shown me the very rare and quite Christ-like quality of "integration." I trust him and respect him.

This week he made mention that my "astrological sign" was listed on my profile here at my blog. Not remembering having filled out such nonsensical information, I went back and saw a very small box that one needed to UN-check (don't you just despise those things) if you didn't want your zodiac sign automatically included in your profile. Go figure. It is now officially un-checked. "Victory is mine,' saith the Lord."

But that whole thing made me start thinking about looking at the stars. Are you like me in that? You see, I've found that there are several activities (or non-activites, as some would say) which help me to slow my soul's raging, calm my nerves, and lift my spirit into a surprised communion with God. Watching fish swim their dance around a fish tank. Watching the flames of a fire dance in the fireplace. And yes, watching the stars tread the familiar steps of their dance through the night sky, a dance so well known that never is a step missed, always is the Creator's design followed in perfection of timing.

Inevitably, such little things lead me to a simple-yet-profound contemplation of the Divine. I find myself, in a way I'm not even sure I understand, dancing with the stars (to borrow a rather common terms these days).

Then I realize something that amazes even to this day, though I've launched into those contemplations thousands of times in my life; I realize that all unbidden my soul is being revitalized. My spirit is being healed and reborn through the quiet, all-powerful, supremely careful touch of God that always comes with communion.

Did I say "communion?" Well, thinking of it now, isn't that what is really was, is and always will be? Dancing with stars isn't really dancing with the stars, is it? It's really communing with the Creator. And I always feel better about "things," "others," "self," and the future when it happens.

This coming week I'm going to be "sweating with the oldies." Meaning what, Bozeman? Meaning that I'm going to be going back to lead the music at a Campmeeting, those "old-time religion" kinds of songs. It's going to be HOT outside under that old tabernacle with a tin roof! Services morning and evening for a week! My body always seems to protest the heat, pleading "why can't we do this the SANE way and be indoors in the AC?!?" But my spirit "gets it." There at Campmeeting, with sweat rolling down my back, with shirt plastered to my chest... right there, right then I realize the truth: I'm doing what Jesus did, for the same reason Jesus did it, and receiving the same benefits. I'm getting away from the hustle and bustle of the crowd... sitting in quiet contemplation of God... reaching communion with the Holy Spirit... being revitalized as the truth comes rolling down like thunderous waters. What truth? Only this: that like the deer that pants for water and finds it, I have been subconsiously crying out for a holy connection with the Lord of the Dance... and there, away from it all, I am blessed to find myself dancing again (whether my feet were moving or not).

God is SO good!

Kirk

"Jesus didn't have no stinking blog!!!" and other non-relevant retorts

Wow! What a wonderful day! Everybody should have 4 hour staff meetings and then go off to the hospital to love those who need a pastor at the moment! Well, okay... maybe not the 4 hour staff meeting part. But my staff was amazing, as always! They hung right in. I thought they were giving me their all before. Imagine my surprise when they enthusiastically responded with joy and excitment when I told them that I wanted them to start doing weekly ministry blogs in order to help people stay informed and inspired! You'd have thought they had hit the lottery! Never have I seen such enthusiasm for a new opportunity to communicate ministry for Christ! They COULD have made one or more of several unvisionary complaints... things like "Jesus didn't have no stinking blog!" (Of course, my response would have been, "Nor did Jesus have a car, so turn your keys in!" *chuckles*) Nope. They were "ready to go!"

Now, just as soon as I show them HOW to blog, they'll be right up there on the cutting edge! I love these people soooooo very much! I found myself asking, what would happen if the entire church of Christ responded as my great staff did. And the answer came: "Thy Kingdom come, Thy Will be done on earth as it is in Heaven" would be realized right here on Crabapple Road!

Way to respond, staff!

I also challenged them to make sure that they spent a good part of their focus on "making disciples for Christ" so that we would all have a part in Christ's transforming the world. Again, they responded so amazingly!

How lucky I am to head this staff.. AND to be the pastor of Northbrook... AND to be an ordained minister of the Gospel of Jesus Christ!

Communicating Christ

Went to a Bar-B-Que place once... it was in the back side of what we used to call a "Filling Station." For you under 50's it's called a "gas station" these days. That's right - it was in the back room of a gas station! (This was before restaurants were "graded" and/or had to post their "cleanliness grade." It would never have passed!)

As I recall, the place was called "The Flying Pig" or "The Pig and Jig," or "The Pig & Whistle" or something suitably porky. The BBQ was amazing! I ordered an "outside pork sandwich." Woah, buddy! Stellar! Absolutely marvelous! I was there at what should have been the middle of the lunch rush, but I was the only one there. "What's wrong with this picture," I mused.

Unable to restrain my curiosity, I asked the owner/server/cook if I happened to have come in on an off day. "Nope... 'bout like usual," came the reply. "You should take out a full-page add in The Atlanta Journal, man; this stuff is great," said I.

Guess what his response was. "Nah, I don't pay for no publicity. I just depend on folks tell other folks about me."

If he had only had a little vision! He missed just how important communication really is! I'd be willing to bet that if he had just taken out one add a month or so, I wouldn't have been able to get a seat! His product was great! But he wasn't telling his story to the people around him! He wasn't reminding people of what he wanted them to know, so business was slim. In fact, it turns out that even his sign out front was rusted past recognition.

There he was, cooking the finest BBQ I've ever tasted, and his place was empty because he wasn't letting people know what he served, when he served it, and where to get it.

When I thought about I realized just how truly important for the Kingdom communication is. My church may have the finest, most life changing, Kingdom-building programming and ministries in the world, but if the members AND the community don't know the "who, what, when, where, how and why" of it all, we may as well let the sign out front rust beyond recognition, because slowly, person by person, family by family, my church will dwindle. The food it provides will go unknown; people will drive right by never realizing that they are only feet away from relevant, life-changing, soul-saving food for the spirit.

Today I think I'll make sure I tell somebody on my street about my Northbrook UMC. It's got some of the best "food" around! So I'll ask my staff to make sure they're telling the stories - keeping our people informed and excited... and leave the rest to God - AND IT'LL ALL BE GOOD!!!